How Do You Know When You’re Growing? — Curiosity, Conflict, and the Subtle Signs of Change
Podcast Recap: Do You Feel Heard? – Episode 27
Hosts: Derrick & Ian
Theme: Recognizing personal growth, shifting communication patterns, curiosity as a compass, and the quiet victories that prove you’re evolving
Growth rarely announces itself with fireworks. More often, it shows up in the quiet moments—the pause before reacting, the softer tone in conflict, the curiosity that replaces judgment.
In Episode 27 of Do You Feel Heard?, Derrick and Ian unpack how to actually know when you’re growing, how to track the subtle signs of change, and how curiosity (toward yourself and others) can turn conflict into connection.
What Growth Really Looks Like
So many of us expect growth to feel like a grand transformation. But Derrick and Ian remind us: it’s usually ordinary.
- Choosing silence instead of snapping back.
- Asking a question instead of making an assumption.
- Feeling discomfort and not running from it.
“Growth looks like doing the same thing you always do—but just a little differently.” – Ian
Conflict as a Mirror
One of the clearest indicators of growth is how we show up in conflict.
- Do we escalate, or do we pause?
- Do we listen, or do we defend?
- Do we seek understanding, or do we cling to being right?
Derrick shares that growth doesn’t mean conflict disappears—it means we can stay present in it without losing ourselves.
“Conflict isn’t a problem. It’s an opportunity for deeper understanding.” – Derrick
The Role of Curiosity
Curiosity is one of the most powerful tools in communication. Instead of rushing to defend or interpret, curiosity keeps us open.
Some of the hosts’ favorite “curiosity questions”:
- What’s happening to me right now?
- What might they be experiencing?
- What’s the story I’m telling—and is it true?
Curiosity interrupts reactivity. It shifts us from assumption to exploration.
Self-Awareness vs. Self-Criticism
Growth isn’t about beating ourselves up for past mistakes. It’s about noticing them sooner, repairing quicker, and choosing differently next time.
“If you notice yourself being judgmental, that’s not failure—that’s awareness. That’s growth.” – Ian
Measuring Change: The Subtle Signs
So, how do you know you’re actually growing? Some signs the hosts name:
- You recover from emotional spirals faster.
- You recognize old patterns while they’re happening.
- You initiate repair instead of waiting.
- You feel more spaciousness inside, even in conflict.
These aren’t dramatic, but they’re profound.
Favorite Quotes from Episode 27
“Growth is subtle. If you’re waiting for it to be dramatic, you’ll miss it.”
“Curiosity is the antidote to defensiveness.”
“Conflict doesn’t destroy relationships—avoidance does.”
“Awareness itself is growth.”
“If you’re noticing the shift, you’re already in it.”
Final Reflection
Growth isn’t always loud.
It’s often gentle, quiet, almost invisible.
But if you pause, you’ll notice:
- You speak softer.
- You pause longer.
- You love wider.
That’s how you know—you’re growing.