Summary
In this intimate episode of Do You Feel Heard?, co-hosts Ian Mychal and Derrick Jones revisit the raw, vulnerable space of self-reflection—without a guest, without an agenda, just a question:
“What if there’s nothing wrong?”
From the tendency to problem-solve our way through life to the pressure of constant self-improvement, this episode challenges a fundamental belief baked into modern culture: that we (or life itself) must be fixed. Instead, Ian and Derrick explore what it means to be with what is, listen without needing to fix, and find enoughness in the middle of the mess.
Pull Quotes
“We’re addicted to fixing things—even when they’re not broken.” – Ian Mychal
“What if healing is less about becoming and more about remembering who you already are?” – Derrick Jones
“This moment isn’t a problem. It’s just a moment.” – Ian Mychal
“Suffering increases the more we resist what is.” – Derrick Jones
The Fix-It Habit
From the start, Ian reflects on how quickly we default to problem-solving mode—even when the “problem” doesn’t exist.
Why are we so quick to assume something must be wrong?
“We try to fix sadness, confusion, stillness—as if they’re glitches instead of valid parts of the human experience.”
This mindset, they argue, keeps us in a cycle of seeking, self-editing, and perpetual striving, rather than acceptance, awareness, and presence.
Being With What Is
The practice is not about doing something different—but about being with whatever arises.
Whether it’s discomfort in the body, loneliness, or uncertainty, Ian and Derrick emphasize that we don’t always have to react. Sometimes, sitting with the feeling is the most powerful thing we can do.
“The pain is real,” Derrick says. “But the suffering? That often comes from our resistance to the pain.”
Listening Without Fixing
One of the episode’s most powerful segments focuses on the art of holding space—being fully present with someone’s experience without trying to change it.
“Most people don’t want advice. They want presence.” – Ian
The co-hosts reflect on their own friendship and how they’ve learned to hold space for one another—not as therapists or teachers, but as humans.
“Sometimes the most healing thing you can hear is, ‘You’re not crazy. I’ve been there.’”
The Loop of Self-Improvement
Ian and Derrick also critique how personal growth culture can become just another loop: constantly reaching, fixing, trying to become “better.”
“When is enough, enough?” Ian asks.
“What if the best version of you… is already here?”
Rather than endless optimization, they advocate for softening—trusting that being is often more powerful than becoming.
The Role of Awareness
Awareness is not the same as control. It’s not about fixing your thoughts or stopping the feelings. It’s about noticing them—without judgment.
“Awareness opens the door. It lets in breath. It lets in grace.” – Derrick
In that space, healing happens—not through force, but through allowing.
Nature as a Teacher
As always, nature enters the conversation.
“No tree is trying to become a better tree,” Ian says. “It just grows. It sheds. It blooms again.”
Nature doesn’t question its process. It just participates in it. And maybe, the more we can align with that rhythm, the more peace we’ll find.
Final Reflection
This episode is less about answers and more about unlearning the need for them. It's an invitation to step off the treadmill of self-fixing and instead ask:
What if there’s nothing wrong with me?
What if this moment is enough?
What if I stop trying to get somewhere… and just be here?
As Ian and Derrick gently remind us:
You're not broken.
You're not behind.
You're already whole.