The Art of Repair — Navigating Feedback, Trust, and Growth in Relationships
Podcast Recap: Do You Feel Heard? – Episode 31
Guests/Hosts: Patrick, Derrick & Ian
Theme: How to handle feedback without defensiveness, repair trust after missteps, and use conflict as a tool for growth
If you’re human, you’ve been there: someone tells you something hard to hear, and your body tenses. Maybe you defend yourself. Maybe you withdraw. Maybe you lash out.
In Episode 31 of Do You Feel Heard?, Patrick joins Derrick and Ian for an honest, practical conversation about what to do instead—how to stay open when receiving feedback, how to repair after conflict, and why vulnerability is the foundation of trust.
Feedback Is Information, Not Attack
One of the first themes the trio explores is how our nervous systems interpret feedback as danger. Patrick shares his own experience of feeling “called out” and wanting to shut down.
Ian and Derrick offer re-frames:
- Feedback is data, not a verdict.
- It reveals how your actions are landing—not who you are.
- You can listen without agreeing.
“If you can stay curious in the moment you want to defend, you’ve already grown.” – Ian
The Repair Loop: Why One Apology Isn’t Enough
Derrick introduces the idea of the “repair loop.” Trust and safety aren’t restored with one grand gesture; they’re rebuilt through consistent, small actions over time.
Patrick reflects on times he thought a single apology or big act would “reset” things, only to realize the other person still needed time and consistency.
“It’s not a straight line back to trust. It’s a winding path.” – Derrick
Tools for Staying Open
The group shares practical tools for receiving and integrating feedback:
- Pause before speaking – regulate your nervous system.
- Repeat back what you heard – to ensure clarity.
- Name your feelings without blaming.
- Ask clarifying questions instead of assuming.
Take breaks if overwhelmed, but return to the conversation.
Vulnerability as Strength
Patrick notes that he used to see vulnerability as weakness, but now recognizes it as essential to growth. Sharing openly—even when embarrassed or scared—creates the very conditions for deeper connection.
Ian and Derrick echo that without vulnerability, repair is superficial at best.
“We can’t rebuild trust on top of a performance. It has to be real.” – Derrick
Listen to the Full Episode
This episode is for anyone who’s:
- Navigating hard conversations in relationships or at work
- Wanting to receive feedback without spiraling
- Trying to repair trust after a rupture
- Learning to value vulnerability as a strength
Final Reflection
Conflict isn’t the end of connection—it’s the test of it.
If you can pause, breathe, and stay curious when feedback arrives…
If you can keep showing up after a misstep, consistently and honestly…
If you can let yourself be vulnerable, even when you’d rather hide…
Then you’re not just repairing.
You’re growing.