The Hidden Power of Active Listening: Transforming Conflict Into Connection
Podcast Recap: Do You Feel Heard? – Episode 11
Guest: Jared Napier
Theme: Vulnerability, duality, and how truly listening—without fixing—creates the conditions for real healing.
What if the key to deep healing isn’t saying the right thing… but learning when not to speak?
In this moving and expansive episode of Do You Feel Heard?, the hosts sit down with Jared Napier, a military veteran, death doula, and founder of Rising Ridge—a retreat center and healing space rooted in safety, presence, and soul-level transformation.
From his combat deployments and experiences with taking life, to the sacred work of supporting death, Jared opens up about the duality of being both warrior and healer. At the heart of it all? Active listening—not just as a technique, but as a way of being.
Tough and Tender: Rewriting Masculinity
Jared’s story is a powerful reminder that strength and vulnerability are not opposites—they are siblings. After 20 years in the Navy and six combat deployments, Jared hit a wall.
He was trained to be “always ready”—even if that meant ignoring his mental and physical health, numbing with alcohol, and living without REM sleep. But when he stepped into spaces of spiritual healing, everything changed.
“You can be a sword-swinger and also be a safe, nurturing space. Being one doesn’t cancel out the other.” – Jared
This redefinition of masculinity invites men to bring their whole selves—not just their strength, but their softness.
Healing Begins With Safety—At a Cellular Level
At the core of Jared’s work is this truth:
You can’t heal if you don’t feel safe.
Not just mentally or emotionally—but physiologically. True healing containers allow people to feel seen, held, and unrushed. That’s when the subconscious starts to surface, when the unspoken finally finds voice.
“The bedrock of all healing is safety.” – Jared
This is why Rising Ridge prioritizes intentional spaces: nature, breathwork, structured conversation, and most of all—presence.
Active Listening: More Than Holding Space
We often think of active listening as repeating back what someone said. But Jared offers a deeper perspective:
“Sometimes the most active thing you can do is to shut up.”
His retreats include literal listening sessions—30 minutes per person, no interruptions, no responses, no “fixing.” Just presence. Just witnessing.
Why?
Because most people have never been listened to like that. And when they are, something sacred unlocks.
“When we truly listen, the speaker feels safe. And the listener gets transformed too.”
Death, Duality, and Deep Forgiveness
One of the most powerful parts of the episode is Jared’s experience with death work—both on the battlefield and later as a death doula.
In a deeply moving story, Jared recounts a psychedelic ceremony where he was guided through a death meditation. At the end, he saw and embraced men he had killed in combat.
“I held so much hatred and pain… but in that moment, I forgave. And I was never the same.”
He realized that honoring death is sacred work—and that true healing meant integrating both the taker of life and the giver of peace within himself.
Preparation, Integration & Value-Driven Behavior
Jared doesn’t just run psychedelic retreats—he builds containers of transformation. That includes:
- Weeks of preparation
- Active listening practice
- Ice baths, breathwork, grounding
- Post-retreat integration support
He emphasizes that healing doesn’t end with a ceremony. It continues in the day-to-day, through what he calls value-driven behavior—choosing actions aligned with your highest self, even when it’s hard.
“You can’t force healing. You invite it. You create the conditions for it to emerge.” – Jared
Favorite Quotes from Episode 11
“You are everything. You are the sword—and the soft place to land.”
“Why am I talking?” (W.A.I.T.—a guiding acronym for conscious speech)
“People think active listening is passive. But choosing to be quiet is a powerful act.”
“Healing happens when you feel safe enough to stumble through the truth.”
“You can’t integrate if you’re not resting—and you can’t rest if your system doesn’t feel safe.”
Learn More About Rising Ridge
Jared and his wife host multi-day retreats for veterans and civilians alike, blending science, spirit, and soul. Their work includes:
- Earth medicine journeys
- Somatic practices
- Nervous system support
- Real, lasting integration
Final Reflection
Healing doesn’t require magic words. It requires presence.
Sometimes the deepest act of love is to not speak—to sit in silence, hold steady eye contact, and say: “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
That’s what Do You Feel Heard? is all about.