In this episode of Helping the Heard, the team welcomes Matt Michaels for a deep dive into the ripple effects of doing the inner work. What starts as a conversation about relationship coaching quickly branches into territory like communication patterns, emotional regulation, food consciousness, and the metaphysics of thought itself.
From explosive conflict to calm and constructive communication.
Matt shares openly about his journey with “Helping the Heard,” reflecting on how he and his partner transitioned from explosive conflict to calm, constructive communication. “At first it felt boring,” he admits, “but it was actually safety—and I had to adjust to that.”
One powerful shift came from learning to express rather than react. When anger comes up, Matt practices naming it instead of being it. “I'm feeling a lot of anger in my gut right now,” he might say, which creates space for processing instead of spiraling.
That space is a major theme of the episode. Whether through meditation, journaling, or analytical tools like the NOD framework (“Name that you have a story”), the team unpacks how cultivating awareness changes everything—from relationship dynamics to self-esteem.
The foundational part of communication you're ignoring.
Matt, Derrick, and Ian discuss how communication isn’t just external—it starts with the conversations we have with ourselves. That inner dialogue is foundational, and for some people, surprisingly absent. The trio explores the theory that a large segment of the population may not have a conscious internal monologue, raising questions about awareness, sensory processing, and lived experience.
The conversation then takes a fascinating turn into mental fitness and the “thought diet.” Just like the body needs clean, nourishing food, the mind requires intentional input. What are you feeding your brain through media, conversations, and content? Is it helping you grow, or keeping you stuck in fear?
Being Well - Physical and Mental Health
Matt points out that true nourishment often doesn’t feel good right away—just like yoga or fasting, it can be uncomfortable at first but leads to clarity and strength. The difference between “feeling good now” and “being well long term” becomes central to defining emotional and physical wellness.
The trio doesn’t shy away from spiritual and energetic perspectives either, discussing parasites, vibrational states, and whether our thoughts might be sourced from beyond us. It’s a heady but grounded chat that manages to keep one foot in science and one in soul.
How you're letting dysfunction take over your life.
As the episode closes, Derrick introduces the concept of “perverse familiarity”—our tendency to mistake dysfunction for normalcy simply because it’s what we’re used to. Whether it’s the food we eat, the way we communicate, or the patterns in our relationships, the message is clear: just because it’s familiar doesn’t mean it’s serving us.
Summary
This episode isn’t just about communication—it’s about radical self-awareness, responsibility, and reclaiming your internal narrative. Whether you’re working on your partnership, your health, or your inner peace, this one’s a must-listen.